A player can often be bitter sweet. Women love players, and women hate players.
Don't take what I'm saying the wrong way -- it's not that women like to be played. No one does. Being played can feel like the most embarassing and heartbreaking experience in the world.
No, what I mean is that players are often some of the most charming and irresistible men around (initially). But in this article, I'm going to undo it all -- I'm going to "betray" my fellow man and let you know how to tell if a man is a player.
First of all, let's make sure that we're on the same page here. What I consider a player is a man who deceives a woman by giving her cause to believe that their relationship is one way when it's really not.
Unfortunately, players are usually attractive and confident, providing a very refreshing break from the masses of men that have no idea how to charm a woman. There are good men out there that have all the charm of the player, but the player uses his gifts for selfish purposes.
To understand how to tell if a man is a player, you really must understand his psychology and his motivations. Selfishness is the player's mantra which he lives by and dies by. But not all players are created equal.
In fact, there are three specific things that most players are after. If a man seems to be uncommonly interested in any of these three things, then chances are high that he is a player and therefore not good long term relationship material:
1) Some players merely want to stroke their ego
Let's face it. The male ego is HUGE. At least 45964% bigger than a woman's ego... wouldn't you agree? The fact of the matter is that all men have a NEED to pamper their ego. However, different men have different ideas of how to go about doing this. This type of player tends to use women exclusively for this purpose, and can often be seen leading women on and flirting with every woman, even ones that he has no interest in. This type of player learned early in life that his charm and appeal make women happy, and he uses this to serve his true master: his ego.
These men will waste a lot of your time, but are usually easy to sniff out. They will never settle down and cannot usually be tamed, because one woman is simply not enough to satisfy their vast and hungry ego.
2) Other players only want one thing...
I'm sure you saw this coming, because this is the classic player -- the one who sees women as objects to use for his own sexual satisfaction, and nothing more. This type of player is usually very good at what he does. There is no harm in mutual casual sex, but the reason that this player is particularly nasty is he often misleads women into thinking there is more to the relationship than that. And you know what? He enjoys it. It doesn't matter how many women cry and beg and plead, on the inside, this player likes that sort of attention and uses that high to fuel his next sexual conquest. Don't let it be you!
3) The "social ladder" player
These players will often use women to create a certain image to their peers and other women. They dream of being like thier favorite movie character, and want to seem as cool as possible by always having a girl on each arm. Often times I find that these guys aren't even all that interested in sex; to them, their social status is the ends, not the means.
If you understand how a player thinks, you can look for the signs that a man is a player. Players have strong personalities, and are proud of their antics, so if you listen with the right ears, they will tell you that they are players on their own.
Players are definitely usually very skilled at what they do and so can be fun guys to be around. Just be careful not to fall for one, or you might find yourself on that road towards despair all over again...